In the Buffyverse, Halloween is a time when demons and vampires take the day off. They prefer to steer clear of the marketed attempt to glorify things that go bump in the night and avoid silly costumes. While Buffy mourns her first college one-night stand, Giles encourages her to go out and have fun, just…
You thought you had done avay vith us. Vell, you vere wrong. Ve have returned. Bleh. For those of you who are new to this, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Count Spatula! Bleh! Not long ago I vas the host of this magazine’s Veek of Blood. After being abstracted from the site, I vowed…
Screw the scream queens and the inklings of societal destruction. Screw the hiding underground and the looting. We are past the stage of figuring out how to vanquish demons, fight werewolves and learn how to stop friends and family from becoming monsters. I say, we just let ‘em out the cage and see where the…
The Legacy of Kain video games star titular vampire Kain, a flawed, headstrong man who cares about himself above everything else. But the world of Nosgoth has no choice. It is a world deep in peril, and Kain is all there is to save it. Kain begins Blood Omen (the first game) as a spoiled…
When True Blood began in 2008, we were introduced to a new political world in which vampires had finally come “out of the coffin,” thanks to a Japanese made synthetic drink called Tru Blood. The series spared no expense on blood, gore and the most scandalous sex scenes we could think of. That said, I felt…
How does Eric pull off that bored yet exhausted look throughout the entire fight scene? He only looks mildly irritated—that is until Pam calls out to him in chains. When they left Pam and Eric alone in the, erm, sun room to wait for sunrise, I thought that it was going to be some old-fashioned,…
SURPRISE! Hah! It happened! Okay, it’s ready now. You don’t have to wait anymore. The next chapter of “Stitches” is HERE! Gosh, this story has become quite the project! A third part will be released to conclude the story, but for now, HERE‘s the second! If you aren’t caught up yet and want to read “Part…
“Death Is Not the End” started out on an extremely emotional note. I mean, who knew we’d feel bad for Maxine (Hoyt’s mom)? God, I totally forgot that Hoyt didn’t remember Jason and company. I’m just glad that we’ll be ending the series with him back home. It isn’t really Bon Temps without that tall…
Count Spatula’s vampiric utensils burst into the room. “Count, count,” one of them cries, “the Editor and his Contributors have made it past our defenses!” “How is this possible?! Bleh?!” exclaims Spatula. “They have… …oven mitts.” “BLEH! HOW?! HOW DID THEY GET THEM?!” “There is no time, sir! Ve must leave!” “But, the Day of…
The Day of Blood continues. –Count Spatula The idea of letting someone bite into your neck in order to drain blood from it is, in reality, pretty disgusting, as well as life-threatening. That being said, it is apparently becoming more and more popular in the film and television world to have us allow vampires to stick to…
DAMN IT. I thought that I was so clever, we all did. Tara’s not dead, no way. They wouldn’t kill off Tara without even showing it, right? Pam just confirmed that Tara met her final end and I am so unhappy. It was said so early into the episode that I almost turned the television off and…
Okay, okay. I tried. I tried to finish the binge-watch first and then dive right into the final season of True Blood, but Sunday night is now Westeros-less. What else am I supposed to do? As eight o’clock rolled around, my fingers started itching toward the remote and, well, I am weak. So I mixed…
