LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, may I have your attention, please?! You’ve been patient! You’ve been diligent! You’ve been loyal! Now, for demonstrating such tremendous qualities, such incredible attributes, such unbelievable resolve, you shall be rewarded! Friends, bloggers, Earthlings, lend me your ears! The time has come, yet again, for you to get your proper dose of excitement, adventure, and intrigue! People of the Net, without further delay, I present to you this week’s FRRRRRRRRRRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY FICTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Sam…

…Sam, play it.

*Cue music.*

Now, readers, today we have a story about…

Bzzzzzzzz…

Oh, um, what’s that noise?

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…bzzzzzzzzz…

This is very odd…

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Oh god, that’s so loud. Readers, I may need to go investigate this. You can check out today’s story by clicking HERE. I’ll be back with you in just a minute. Let me just see…

BBBBBBBBzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ…

…tuning out.

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