It’s Time To Break Out Into A Foodfight!
Animation: where all dreams can come to life. Where artists employ one of the most advanced and complicated technical processes in the artistic world to create places and events that would require some of the most ambitious C.G.I. work to even attempt in live-action. Truly, animation is a marvel of what people can do with enough patience, skill, and passion.
And then there’s Foodfight!
Foodfight! Reaches Nigh Unwatchable In Minutes
Watching only a few clips gets that across. You could see this movie with the sound off and still understand the depths of horror that is the viewing process. Foodfight! employs motion capture—and the motion actors must have taken an entire pot of coffee, each, and gulped it down with no regrets because the characters never stop moving.
Every second there are characters on screen, they shake their arms, vibrate oddly, seem to have bouts of interpretive dance, or jerk around like they are experiencing a thousand ant bites. Not only is it distracting, but it may have ruined any empathy possible for the characters. I say “may,” because the way they talk doesn’t help matters.
I am a fan of puns, but this movie attempted to break every pun-loving iota of my being. Foodfight! contains a stream of innuendos and the worst food and product puns ever inflicted.
This is an honest line of dialogue:
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a Spam.”
I screamed at the screen “No!” on multiple occasions. I think someone involved in this film really wanted to make an R-rated comedy like Sausage Party because this movie is filthy with what the characters imply. The amount of “technically” okay for children lines in this movie is staggering. At one point they slip into a bunch of gibberish that sounds like a swear but isn’t, and that was the point where my mind snapped.
I’ve Had Nightmares Much Better Than Foodfight!
I do not wish to insult anyone with legit, real trauma in their lives, so I won’t say this movie was traumatic, but, the true test of these bad movies is the simple question of what it would take to get me to watch it again. And, if someone offered me a hundred-dollar bill, simply to sit with a crowd of people and subject myself to repeat viewing of Foodfight! I might just refuse.
Foodfight! is spoiled and moldy and is likely not good for your health.
But it’s still not as bad as Birdemic.
So, here we go again.
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