Several films released over the years were so bad that audiences commit unspeakable acts. Some cried in corners and some destroyed their television sets in fits of fury. There is no excuse for horrible cinema. The films listed below are seen by many film critics (and fans) as some of the worst and most nauseating excuses of film ever made.

 

No. 5

Coming in at number 5 is a film which deserves recognition for its’ single handed destruction of Halle Berry’s film career. It was such a disgusting piece of horrible smut, several critics never finished watching it. Without further ado, the 5th worst science fiction film ever made, Catwoman. 

“CATS: LATEX. West End was never the same again.”

The Hype: Halle Berry was at the pinnacle of her career after winning an Academy Award for her performance in Monster’s Ball in 2001 and several pundits touted Catwoman as the step in the right direction for Halle Berry.

The Aftermath: A mass feline suicide commenced, film critics punched Halle Berry in the head and the Academy Awards phoned, they demanded their Oscar back, sans Halle Berry’s plastic boobs and macabre acting.

Critic Quote: “The kind of movie that almost guarantees the loss of a few I.Q. points.” – Rex Reed (New York Observer).

O.M.G. Samuel! How bad was it? It was so bad that Halle Berry has been quoted as saying, “First of all I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit, God-awful movie . . . It was just what my career needed.”

No. 4

This shining example of garbage is the man-child of Nicholas Cage’s career. It never developed into a fully grown film, it merely stagnated in an early adolescent phase, donning Nicholas Cage’s turd-like toupee. Riddled with pseudo social commentary and thematic content which induced hysterical fits of laughter, gives Knowing the title of the fourth worst science fiction film ever made.

“Mr. Cage came to the conclusion that his toupee died on his head.”

The Hype: If Nicolas Cage, Armageddon and an excited nervous system had a love child, Knowing would be born from the stitched up womb of a man-child. This never actually happened.

Aftermath: A few hysterical fits of insane laughter and Nicholas Cage’s hair implants giving birth to their grand children.

Critic Quote:  “If your intention is to make a brooding, hauntingly allegorical terror-thriller, it’s probably not a good sign when spectacles of mass death and intimations of planetary destruction are met with hoots and giggles … ” – A. O. Scott (The New York Times).

O.M.G. Samuel! How bad was it? It was not actually THAT bad, as the film falls in the category of love/hate. Several critics ripped the film to shreds, others adored it and lauded it for its’ brilliance. Nicholas Cage still remained the same, with his botox face leaking mouthwash one cold morning.

No. 3

Mark Wahlberg might have been a sexual fascination in the early 90’s, but nothing about him is fascinating or sexual in this trash filled annoyance of a film. Coming in at the third worst science fiction film of all time, The Happening.

“Marky Mark’s acting emptied the streets.”

The Hype: M. Night Shyamalan achieved success with the horror antics of The Sixth Sense. All of his follow-up films, with an exception here and there, ended up in the garbage bin of the local DVD stores. The hype surrounding The Happening restored some life into the M. Night Shyamalan film library and critics were excited to see this intentional B-movie.

Aftermath: The simultaneous ending of Mark Wahlberg’s acting cred and M. Night Shyamalan’s struggling career.

Critic Quote:  “It almost dares you to roll your eyes or laugh at certain scenes that are supposed to be deadly serious.” – Richard Roeper (Chicago Sun-Times)

O.M.G. Samuel! How bad was it? It was so bad that The Happening received four Razzie Awards (Anti-Oscars) nominations for Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Picture, Worst Director and Worst Screenplay.

No. 2

Keanu Reeves might have been the epitome of a hero as Neo in The Matrix, but nothing is able to save poor Keanu from this, the second worst science fiction film ever made, The Day The Earth Stood Still.

“Not even the Germans understood it”

The Hype: Yay! Finally! A remake of the original 1951 classic,  directed by Robert Wise (The Haunting Original Version). Keanu Reeves and the exquisite Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind) were attached to the project back in 2006 and critics were excited.

Aftermath: The ever-impressive shred ripping of Keanu Reeves’ acting abilities.

Critic Quote: “Musty and derivative” – Claudia Puig (USA Today)

O.M.G. Samuel! How bad was it? Despite an excellent showing at the box office and IMAX theaters, critics still scratched their own eyes out and spat at the film with their acid laced tongues.

No. 1

John Travolta’s bizarre portrayal of Terl, the Psychlo security chief, made film goers cringe at this semi-religious propaganda nightmare of a film. This film is quite possibly the worst science fiction (and all other genres) film ever made.

Coming in at number one is this stinker of a film, which makes the innards of your toilet churn, Battlefield Earth.

“Rastafarian suited Mr. Travolta so beautifully!”

The Hype: Scientology gave us many crazy entertainment moments over the years. Think Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch, Tom Cruise’s denial of psychiatric illnesses and Tom Cruise’s eccentricity. Tom Cruise, enough said. Now, mix all this crazy into a movie, add in some mad version of John Travolta and mix it all up with a terrible plot and some of the worst accents and acting known to man. Hype? What hype?

Aftermath: Franchise Pictures, an independent film studio spearheaded by a former dry cleaning owner turned nightclub owner, went bankrupt. John Travolta almost lost his contract with William Morris theatrical agency and destroyed his career for the rest of his life. All of this, due to an obsession with Scientology. Sigh, how cults are able to obliterate art! The film is regarded as the biggest box office flop in film history.

Franchise Pictures supposedly inflated the budget and created a faux amount of $75 million in order to lure more investors. The resulting court case sent the film company into bankruptcy and led John Travolta to fire his longtime manager for the agreement regarding the film.

Critic Quote: Famous film reviewer, Roger Ebert, described the film as the following, “something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies”

O.M.G. Samuel! How bad was it? It was so bad that film goers in Baltimore burst out into hysterical laughter and left the cinema even before the film was finished. Battlefield Earth will go down in history as one of the most ridiculed and parodied flops of all time.

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