Worse Than the Movie – The Phantom Menace Game

Growing up without the knowledge database that is the internet or a subscription to a gaming magazine, I played a ton of not so great games back in the day. Not that I cared, or even noticed how terrible they really were. As a result, some of my fondest gaming memories are of games that are terrible on way too many levels.

Take for instance, the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace videogame for PS1. I got my PS1 way back in 1999 as a gift from my parents, and my parents knowing me so well bought me the atrocity that is The Phantom Menace.  At the time, it was a blast. I got to play as Captain Panaka! And Qui-Gon Jinn! And Obi-Wan Kenobi! And….that’s about it actually. I got to explore beautiful 3D vistas such as the Gungan underwater city, Naboo, and even explore Tatooine! My little nine year old brain couldn’t comprehend.

To be fair, while many gamers were enjoying the N64 and PS1 at launch, I wasn’t so lucky. I received a hand me down SNES from my cousin after he bought an N64. Once I put in the Star Wars game disc in my PS1, I was immediately blown away by the graphics. I could finally fulfill my childhood dream of being a Jedi. I loved the game at the time, even if I found it difficult. I often got lost, especially on the underwater Gungan city level. Exploring the city on Tatooine also gave me trouble, as I would wander around and run into trouble. Still, I manged to beat the game as a kid and marked it as a shining achievement.

Just for fun a while back I decided to experience once again the game I had so many fond memories of. As is the case with most PS1 titles, the games don’t age exceptionally well, especially in the graphics department. Where as 8 and 16 bit graphics will survive the test of time, the same will never be said for PS1 games. Blocky characters and animations are the norm, and the gameplay is arguably worse. You just wander around from a top down perspective, mostly figuring out how to open doors and hacking away at any enemy that crosses your path. Dialogue and talking to characters in the game is actually not bad, and you even have the ability to Jedi mind trick some characters. Though I’m being hard on the game, it’s decent for a licensed game, and follows the story of the movie and even elaborates on it further at points. Too bad the game was based on a crappy movie. Thankfully there isn’t a licensed Attack of the Clones game (at least I don’t think there is), as it would be destined to be even worse.

But it is on this new playthrough years later that I found this game’s single redeeming quality, almost a minigame of sorts that I like to call Grand Theft Auto: Tatooine. Once players reach Tatooine and are attempting to repair Anakin’s podracer things get very interesting. Playing as Qui Gon-Jin, players can basically do whatever they want. To be fair, you can’t really hijack speeders or other vehicles, so it’s not exactly GTA. Still, similar to what happens when I grow bored in GTA,  I begin to roam around for hours causing havok on the local population. Some Jedi I turned out to be. I cut down anybody who even looked at me funny. Who needs Jedi mind tricks when you have a laser sword that can cut people in half? After causing too much mayhem, a horde of Gamorrean guards (green pig people) with giant axes eventually come and attempt to end your killing spree. They often succeed, as they are pretty tough.

Even with all it’s flaws, I can’t help but smile while I play the game, even though it really isn’t much fun. Running wild on Tatooine is an interesting diversion, but otherwise the frustrating difficulty and clunky button mashing gameplay leaves a lot to be desired. Still, it was my first leap into 32 bit gaming, and for that it holds a special place in my gaming history.

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