SPOILER ALERT: I WILL SPOIL YOUR SOUL AWAY IF YOU LET ME. I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE. IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP—RUN.
So. What the hell is going on? This entire episode was like when you put paper through a shredder. On one hand, it’s cool to see the paper get sliced up with that official shredding machine noise, but on the other hand, not only have you destroyed something, you have also left its pieces in a mass of jumbled fragments. That’s what this episode was to me: a mass of jumbled fragments.
For starters, Lauren, what the hell on so many levels? I’m guessing it was the big reveal that the Dark Fae found and kidnapped her, but I thought it was going to be her brother because last episode gave us so much of that story. Almost the entire episode I thought her being back was a trick. I was expecting Lauren’s skin to peel off and reveal some kind of doppelganger monster.
That was a fail for both of my predictions, but on the plus side, I might be getting my Dyson/Bo affair back this season (although he was NOWHERE to be seen this entire episode). It seems being away from Bo and all of the Light Fae madness has given Dr. Lauren a backbone. Did you hear the way she talked to Bo at the end? She was right: the Light Fae kept her in a cage. At least with the Dark Far, she’s there on her own terms. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Lauren so independent, so sassy. I must say I was impressed, and I’m curious about what she’s going to bring this season. I mean, look at that picture! It says, “Hm? Did someone ask for your opinion?”
I have a confession, kids. I think I’m Team Dark Fae. I know Bo, who was supposed to be “unaligned,” has been leaning firmly towards Light, but Dark is clearly where its at! I mean, they act all tough, but actually they’re sweethearts (minus that whole kill and torture thing). Most importantly, they’re honest about the horrible stuff they do. That dance-off with baby Tams was hilarious, and yeah, she accidentally killed someone afterwards, but…you know what, that happens sometimes. With the Light, their niceness is mostly all a show. They make you second guess their intentions. For instance, at the end of episode 3, Dyson and Bo are driving home, and see a car on the side of the rode. Bo suggests they stop and help, but Dyson says something to the effect of “That person can take care of themselves.” We, viewers, know it’s Lauren and the waitress. Now, our beautiful Dyson is a wolf. Along with his scruffy hair and chiseled physique, his repertoire of heightened features also include an acute nose and what else, kiddos? Excellent vision. Wouldn’t Dyson have been able to see that it was Lauren in that car? And if not, wouldn’t he have recognized her scent? That’s why I think he was being a cheeky bugger driving off into the sunset with Bo, but alas, I could be wrong.
In other news, those Una Mens people are severely terrifying, like jump out of a window and set yourself on fire to get away terrifying. Vex chopped off his hand. Completely. Just hacked it right off. Trick might also be the Light Fae’s new Ash.
So far, I can’t say I’m gagging over this season (gagging is good), but we shall see next Monday. You know what? This could all be because Dyson wasn’t there this episode. Let’s just throw up a picture of the happy couple, hm?
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