In Anakin’s Defense: Why Star Wars Episode 1 Isn’t As Bad As You Think
Ever since the Star Wars prequels came out, they’ve been getting a lot of hate. Many a fan were severely upset by these cinematic blunders, and it seems that they only become more disliked as time goes by. George Lucas made some mistakes with these movies; he misread his audience and put in a bunch of things the fans didn’t really want or need. Plus, he created Jar Jar Binks. The world will never, ever forgive him for Jar Jar Binks.
However, while Episodes Two and Three don’t have much to recommend them other then that awesome chase scene near the beginning of Two, I’ve always felt that The Phantom Menace didn’t quite deserve all the hate it received. Don’t get me wrong, I raged as much as anyone about the unnecessary introduction of midichlorians, Jar Jar Binks, and the awkwardly written and poorly acted ‘romance’ between a little boy and a teenage girl, but it’s still actually a pretty good movie. How can I say this? Let me count the ways…
- Qui-Gon Jinn
Let me be blunt for a moment. I love this guy. He’s pretty much the coolest Jedi ever not played by Samuel L. Jackson. Qui-Gon combines exactly the right amount of a wise old master, a good friend, a plain old nice guy, and the Jedi equivalent of a cowboy cop. He fights off Darth Maul single handedly to give the others time to escape, then calmly introduces his student to Anakin. He easily manipulates Watto to free Anakin, sequre in the knowledge that Anakin will win the race. He tells off Yoda, aka the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, and more or less says “screw you, I do what I want”. The guy is always calm, always collected, and refuses to let anything get in his way. Slavery, Jedi Council rules, armies, evil Sith Lord, doesn’t matter. If you’re in his way, he’s taking you out. The only thing about this guy that isn’t awesome was how he went out like a punk, and even that was because Maul hit him with a cheap shot. Even then, he found the time to make sure Anakin got trained, proving that even stabbing him in the gut won’t stop him from accomplishing his goals.
2. Darth Maul
While we’re talking about Qui-Gon, let’s talk about his killer for a bit. Darth Maul is awesome, but for completely different reasons then Qui-Gon. Who is he? We don’t know. Why is he working for the Sith? We don’t know. Why is he red? Where does he come from? Why does he have the single coolest lightsaber the galaxy has ever seen? We. Don’t. Know. Everything about this guy is a total blank. He’s just this badass Sith Lord who comes out of nowhere and proceeds to kick copious amounts of ass. His five-yard stare gives me the chills every time. When he was separated from Qui-Gon by a forcefield, he paced back and force like a caged tiger; every move he made showed you this guy was a killer. When he saw he couldn’t outfight Qui-Gon Jinn in a far fight, rather then let himself get skewered he goes and socks the guy in the jaw. A cheap shot, sure, but he’s the villain. He’s allowed. And lets not forget that double-bladed lightsaber. The minute he pulled that out, you knew this was a boss fight. Every kid who saw this movie instantly threw away their toy lightsabers because they only had one blade. Don’t lie, you did it too.
3. The Pod Race
Despite it’s close association with the whiniest Chosen One since Frodo Baggins, the Pod Race was probably the high point of the whole movie. It was fast paced and just as action-packed as any fight scene, and it really had me biting my nails until the very end. I admit I let out a huge cheer both when Anakin managed to overcome Sebulba’s cheating, and when he finally won the race. That was exhilarating. Probably the best scene of the whole race, though, was when Anakin was forced off the road. Does he crash and burn like a rookie? Nope, he just hits a ramp and comes down in the lead like he’s playing Crazy Taxi. Say what you like about the kid, but the massive stones that one move took makes him a pretty okay dude in my book.
4. Jar Jar Binks
Okay, okay, hold your horses. Don’t start screaming just yet. I hate Jar Jar too. He’s mind-meltingly annoying, and his weird speech patterns don’t make him as cool as Yoda, they just make him obnoxious. He’s clumsy, annoying, and doesn’t appear to contribute much. So why’s he on this list? Because of an interesting fact a friend once pointed out to me. I didn’t believe him, until I double-checked it myself, but Jar Jar Binks is actually nearly as effective a fighter as both the movie’s Jedi. Don’t believe me? Watch those scenes with the battle between the Gungans and the droids, near the end of the movie. Jar Jar’s just stumbling about, causing his usual mayhem and hijinks, right? Thing is, count the number of droids Jar Jar is directly responsible for destroying, albeit accidentally. Now, re-watch the movie and count how many kill-shots Qui-Gon or Obi-Won get. In just one battle, Jar Jar’s kill-count is nearly as high as Qui-Gon. Just by stumbling around. Is this purposeful? Does the mind of a super strategic genius reside behind that goofy CGI mug of his? Probably not. But it’s possible.
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