LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, may I have your attention, please?! You’ve been patient! You’ve been diligent! You’ve been loyal! Now, for demonstrating such tremendous qualities, such incredible attributes, such unbelievable resolve, you shall be rewarded! Friends, bloggers, Earthlings, lend me your ears! The time has come, yet again, for you to get your proper dose of excitement, adventure, and intrigue! People of the Net, without further delay, I present to you this week’s FRRRRRRRRRRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY FICTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Sam…

…Sam, play it.

*Cue music.*

We return to our silly story.

We return now to Charles.

It’s been many, many years since we last saw him. He’s changed a lot. Learned a lot. But his hatred for the Earth’s closest celestial body has not diminished in the slightest.

And he has a plan for what he’s going to do about it.

CLICK HERE to see what his plan is. We doubt you’ll ever be able to guess beforehand what it’ll be.

And, for those of you who want more serious stories, don’t worry. We’ve got one just around the bend. And by that, we mean next week.

tuning off…

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