Five Reasons I Wish I Were A Hobbit

Do you ever sit around and wonder how great life would be if you were a Hobbit? No? Well here are some reasons why being a Hobbit wouldn’t be so bad.

A Shoeless Lifestyle

Known for their notoriously large and hairy feet with leathery soles, the hobbits get away with going shoeless. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but one of my least favorite parts of the day is putting on shoes. Nothing is as comfortable as going shoeless, no matter what type of shoes I’m putting on: sneakers, flip flops, boots or heels, I will only be completely satisfied shoeless. Unfortunately, us humans can’t go shoeless in public for fear of stepping on glass, or something equally unpleasant. Luckily for Hobbits, their feet also have the cushioning to protect them while they are walking on difficult terrain. Shoeless is also a sign of relaxation, you don’t go shoeless at work, but you do at home. Which basically means hobbits are in a constant state of relaxation, and I am in a constant state of jealousy.

Second Breakfast and All The Other Necessary Meals Of The Day

Hobbits are major foodies, if you haven’t already realized, and they make sure thy get their allotted seven meals a day. Seven, you say? Don’t believe me? Well, lets name them: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, afternoon tea, dinner and supper. A well-fed hobbit is a happy hobbit, or at least a less grumpy hobbit. If I could eat that many meals a day, and not feel bad about it I would. I often feel like Pippin when I realize I won’t get my allotted three meals a day, “What about second breakfast?”, good question Pip. I mean, six meals a day is supposed to be healthier for you, right?

The Perfect Size For Hide-and-Seek

They aren’t called halflings for nothing. The average size of a Hobbit is approximately three and a half feet, the size of a young child, and who are the best at playing hide-and-seek? Yes, children, therefore just as children are, Hobbits are the perfect size for easily vanishing from sight. Now, I don’t know about you, but there have been plenty of times in my life where I wished I were tiny enough to hide away in a little nook to avoid someone I didn’t want to see. Hobbits are also so small that they barely make any noise when trying to sneak around, which would definitely be beneficial when trying to sneak out of my parent’s house at night.

Hobbit-Holes

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort”. The hobbit-hole sounds like the perfect log cabin, like a weekend get-away, but for life. I would get to go camping everyday, but inside, which would make camping ten times better. Plus, since the door is so tiny, it would deter guests of the taller sort from trying to enter.

They Know How To Party

If it wasn’t clear form Bilbo’s 111^th birthday, Hobbit’s know how to throw a party. They maybe all around grumpy, and unadventurous, but when there’s a birthday party they all bring out their dancing shoes (figuratively speaking, of course). They’ve got giant cakes, plenty of food, dancing, music, pipe-weed, and fireworks courtesy of Gandalf. Now, I know not everyone throws a party like Bilbo, but if the others are anywhere close to his, I want to be a part of them.

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